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Bill Nye Claims Blizzard Identifies As “Moderately Warm, Partly Cloudy”

World famous bow tie enthusiast and engineer, Bill Nye, has donned his Science Guy costume once again to help explain this incredible blizzard. While most civilians, using their own experience and senses, believe it is freezing cold, Nye warns it’s not quite that simple. “You see, weather fluidity is a *scientific* fact.  Weather can identify and reidentify as it sees fit.  We can no longer live by the archaic notion that things are what they seem,” the fake scientist explained.  While millions were locked indoors with their central heating on full blast, The author of the hit song “Sex Junk” was walking amongst the blizzard to show the world that weather fluidity is real. “We need to reframe the discussion on climate. We had global warming, that was too specific so we went to Climate Change, but that was too broad. *Scientists* everywhere now share the new consensus that climate is fluid.” Wearing nothing but a suit with a lab coat, Bill walked through a frigid and empty Times Square. We noticed his left eye had frozen shut, but he continued, “This “storm” is actually just a moderately warm and partly cloudy day, that’s how it identifies therefor that’s what it is.” Nye suggested that people should leave the confines of their warm homes and join him in the city, celebrating the warm weather that 97% of the *science* community predicted. He then fell face forward in the snow. The Daily Mire Team brought him to the St. Peter’s Hospital were he is now recovering from frostbitten hands – which he insists is just a mild sunburn./


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