The Daily Mire

Bite-Sized Satire From The Swamp

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After A Long And Productive Week, President Trump Pours Himself A Stiff Diet & Diet; One Part Diet Coke, One Part Diet Coke

White House 7:45 pm – After a busy week full of electric statement and earth-shaking tweets, Donald Trump retired to his room to unwind.  He ordinarily unwinds with a chilled Diet Coke, but since he had reason to celebrate he decided to spice it up a bit and pour his signature cocktail. “It’s great, I have the best drinks. Believe me, these drinks are some of the best. Take one diet coke, pour it into a glass then take another diet coke and pour it into the same class.  Gently stir.  It’s very important that you stir and not shake.  Shaking makes the bubbles go everywhere,” the president said as he sipped his freshly made beverage followed by an exaggerated “Ahhhhh.” He then retired to his bed where he sprawled out and said: “Let’s snap a few photos for the article.”


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