The Daily Mire

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Kim Jong Un Responds To Trump Tweet By Beginning Construction on “Biggest Button Ever”

Pyongyang – It’s 9:00 am, Kim Jong Un has just finished his morning yoga. He’s got a little extra swagger going as a result of some previous statements he made regarding his new nuke button in his desk. It was really looking like another day in paradise for the Supreme Leader Whose Grace Shines Brighter than The Sun. Until…

Meanwhile, a newly appointed general to the dictator, whose job is to brief Kim Jong Un on the day’s news out of North America, sees President Trump’s tweet. The last guy to pass along a Trump tweet making fun of the Supreme Leader was sentenced to 10 years hard labor for “Insensitivity towards The Supreme Leader’s perfectly balanced emotional landscape.” It was vital he deliver the news in a way that didn’t upset Kim Jong Un like the “Short and fat” tweet did.

Back to Kim Jong Un who was just having a really splendid day.  “Supreme Leader, Sir, I have news out of the West,” the General said. “President Trump has foolishly declared possession of a massive button!” Sources say The North Korean Dictator began cursing in German, reiterating how unfair It was that he was banned from Twitter but not the dotard President. The General continued, “He claims his button is much bigger and that it works.”

After an hour or so of pouting and petting his therapy boar, The Dictator instructed his entire weapons program to hault nuke production and research, and begins working on constructing the “Largest and most workingest button in the history of everywhere.” With every North Korean resource being poured into the new Button Program rather than the ICBM program, the threat of nuclear war has lessened…for now.

In other news, the young General has just begun the first year of a ten-year hard labor sentence for “Insensitivity towards The Supreme Leader’s perfectly balanced emotional landscape.” Sad! /

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