The Daily Mire

Bite-Sized Satire From The Swamp


Satellite Images Reveal North Korea’s New Devastating Chainsaw Bayonet Missile Modification

WASHINGTON – The Trump Adminstration has yet to comment on the recently leaked images of the new North Korean Missile.  The Hwasong-90, Kim Jong Un’s most lethal intercontinental ballistic missile, may have just become the planets most frightening weapon. With a range of 13,000 km, which experts tell us is a lot of miles, the Hwasong-90 can hit any place on Earth besides Antarctica and wherever Dennis Rodman is.  We spoke with Bob Harrington, a retired weapons analyst, “this new modification is like nothing we’ve ever seen before.  The new chainsaw bayonet addition can slice through any US’ Anti-missile system.  Even if we fired a nuke at it, it would just slice it in half like the fruit ninja.”  Sources withing the DPRK say the idea was first conceived by Kim Jong Un after Newsweek ran a piece on modifications to an AR-15.  General Mattis is set to address the nation regarding the new threat that some are referring to as “The North Korean Chainsaw Bayonet Massacre.” – Story developing as new information becomes available.


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