The Daily Mire

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Santa Clause Meets With Amazon CEO, Jeff Bezos, To Discuss Potential Merger.

North Pole – With only hours left before his yearly sleigh ride, Santa Clause meets with Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, to hear the CEO’s pitch.  “With your sleigh technology, and my logistics and infrastructure, we could revolutionize the industry – every day would be Christmas for us.” A source close to the Clauses say Mr. Clause was resistant to the idea at first, but after Bezos provided him with several plates of cookies and some warm milk, Santa warmed up to the idea. “What would this mean for the existing workshop and my loyal elves?” Bezos reassured Clause that all elves would be reassigned to various management positions at Amazon warehouses around the globe.  With Amazon poised to put Santa Corp. out of business in the next few years, Santa has very little leverage and may conclude that a buyout is his only option. “At my age, reducing the work load from one day a year to no days a year is very appealing,” said Santa as he reached for another cookie.  Sources say they have agreed to return to negotiations after the holiday season.


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