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Trump Signs Executive Order To Change Name Of Meat Sandwich To “Sloppy Steve”

Joes everywhere can breath a sigh of relief as President Trump once again proves that he cares about the average Joe. In what appears to have nearly 100% bipartisan support, The President’s latest executive order may just be the foundation of his growing legacy. “As a Joe, I love this. As an American, I really love this,” Said former Vice President Joe Biden. The executive order mandates that all Meat Sandwiches currently referred to as a “Sloppy Joe,” will hereafter be referred to as  “Sloppy Steves -” a move no other President in history has been able to accomplish.  “Hell ya, I take it personally,” said a day-drinking Steve Bannon. As Joes everywhere rejoice, Steves are having a tough time embracing the executive order, but some are willing to put country first. “Look,” one Steve explained, “Joes have bore that scarlet letter for a long time. It’s an understandable piece of legislation. I mean, does it hurt me, as a Steve? Sure, I’m a little salty, but this country is more important than a few Steves’ hurt feelings.” President Trump, proud of his new executive order, spoke to the press after the announcement: “This is great. Everyone loves this. Both sides of the isle agree, this is what America needs right now.” With that, President Trump graciously bought the entire press pool Sloppy Steves, proclaiming “Hey Look, Sloppy Steve is back in the White House.” Jim Acosta laughed. /

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