The Daily Mire

Bite-Sized Satire From The Swamp

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‪Area Man Climbs Down Pipe To Look For Coins In The Sewer After Playing Super Mario Bros.‬

NEW JERSEY – Video games are once again the subject of heated debates across the nation.  Claims that video games have the power to influence people’s behavior in real life have often been dismissed as no clear correlation has ever been established – until now. Area Man Ravi Thompson has been thrust into the center of the discussion with recent claims that 20 minutes of game play took over his mind. “I sat down after work last Thursday to play some video games. I got out Super Mario Bros. and played for about twenty minutes,” Ravi said, speaking from his hospital bed in east Trenton. “After about twenty minutes of game play I just stood up and walked outside. I mean, I knew what was happening but I couldn’t stop it. Next thing I knew a man was shouting at me from a bright light above me.” Ravi had climbed into the sewer and wandered there for nearly 48 hours. Ravi continued, “It was Saturday Night, I had a pocket full of penny’s that I had collected from amongst the sewage. I was covered in fecal matter and it’s possible I ate some mushrooms” Ravi was transported to the local hospital and is currently being treated for several bacterial and viral infections. He claims the video games made him do it. “I would never have done this had I not played Super Mario Bros.” Ravi has filed a law suit against Nintendo to pay for his hospital bills and is seeking 8 million for “psychological distress. He is also suing “Bowser Corp.” although a search for any business under that name came up empty. /

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